Laurie Jacobsen

Rome Feet

2012-01-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

Here is the latest post in my Feet of the World Series.

My husband and I took a vacation to Italy in September of 2010. He thought it would be a good idea for us to get away at that time because he knew I would be suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome big time. My daughter had left for college toward the end of August. The only thing we didn't realize is that I would be sad, and she would be sad, and it would all be so much more difficult to take because we were so much farther away from each other. Lesson learned.

I've decided to break the three weeks of Italy up into several different posts - I'm not sure if I remembered to take photos of my feet in every town in which we found ourselves, but you can rest assured that I have a million shots of food! This was the BEST pizza I've ever eaten. They bake the crust separately covered in olive oil, and then just add fresh buffalo mozzerella (made the day before. uh huh, yeah.) and cherry tomatoes and fresh basil. Sublime.

Something that I've never done before this trip is photograph my hands - but I am a SUPER tactile person, and the fact that I could walk up to all this old architecture and actually touch it was too much of a temptation for me.

Loved this old building with fresh vegetation growing out of it.

And this last photo is one of my favorite photos ever taken of myself. We were meeting up with some friends, who also happened to be in Rome, and I was talking with Yvonne on the phone trying to figure out how far away from the Spanish Steps they were. She's really funny, hence the laughing. My husband snapped this pic and it never fails to make me really happy to see it.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

Half Moon Bay Feet

2011-12-23T15:17:00.001-07:00

One of my husband Wayne and my special and favorite places is Half Moon Bay in California. We went 9 years ago for his birthday and came back engaged, and then we spent our honeymoon there. The last time we went was 3 years ago, again for his birthday. This is the only foot photo that I could find of that trip, not exactly on the ground, but close enough.

Above is a photo of the ocean from the golf course, and below is The Ritz Carlton hotel, where we stay.

If I had all the money in the world, I would live there, gloom and all.

Beach Feet

2011-12-22T11:46:00.001-07:00

This is where I am happiest. On the beach. This photo was taken many years ago at Huntington Beach in California. I grew up about 30 miles north of there and whenever I am back in California, I have to go to the beach. It's like Prozac for me. The smell of the ocean, the sound of the waves, the feel of the sand between my toes. True peace.

Russia Feet

2011-12-21T08:18:00.001-07:00

Continuing on in my feet of the world series...Above is a photo that I took of one foot on a makeshift planter in Russia. We were just outside of Moscow in what was once a USSR State volleyball school. It is used today as a volleyball camp where kids of all ages live, attend school and train.

My daughter's club volleyball team was invited to participate in an international tournament there, and I was invited to accompany them as chaperone. It was a wonderful experience for everyone involved.

Here is another one taken on the streets of Moscow. And below, some amazing meatball soup that I ate there - I also love taking photos of food.

Below is a photo of Dani's volleyball team. Love this one.

And one more of the ubiquitous feet shots...me and Dani on the subway in Moscow.

Told you I had tons of these photos!

These were taken with my Canon 5D and a variety of lenses.

Notre Dame Feet

2011-12-20T13:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted again for a while, so I decided that since I don't seem to have much to say, I would show you a bit of me and my likes. In case you didn't figure it out, this is a photo of my feet. I have TONS of photos of my feet. I try to remember to take them every time I go somewhere new. I've actually made paintings of the photos I've taken of my feet, but that's a whole other story.

In this photo, my feet are on the campus of the University of Notre Dame, where my daughter is currently going to school. I went to visit her right before Thanksgiving. She was working and couldn't come home for her Fall break, so my mom and I went and visited her. On my feet are my favorite Old Gringo boots.

The photo was taken using my Canon 7D with my 28-135mm lens. It's pretty much my go-to lens.

Happy Birthday Dani!

2011-10-19T18:22:00.002-07:00

Dani & Maggie Brindock in Hawai'i

Today is my baby's 19th birthday. Hard to believe I can be that old, and yet, so it is. She is the very, very best part of me.

Gratitude Party

2011-10-14T09:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while, the reason for which I won't go into here, but let's just say that I felt stymied by circumstances, and every time I thought about writing a post, I froze. I'm slowly, but surely working through and trying to find my way back to my blog. I love it here, and I've missed it so.

Something I saw the other day on my telenovela, Cuando Me Enamoro, which I'm terribly sorry to say is about to end, really stuck with me and I thought I would share it with you. Bear with me, please, as the story is incredibly convoluted, as only telenovelas can be.

The main character's name is Renata and she was stolen at birth by a woman, Pepa, who was having an affair with Renata's father, Roberto. Renata's real name when she was stolen was Regina. Regina's mom, Regina (I know, right?) has been searching for her for 25 years, while Pepa (really Josephina) has raised her alongside her daughter, born the same day as Regina (Renata), named Roberta, after her father. Pepa was waiting until Regina/Renata's 25th birthday, when she would come into a fortune from Roberto, who left money in his will for Regina but not Roberta. Oh, and Pepa killed Roberto when she found out about the will...and then she killed about 20 other people, but that's a totally different plot line. So Pepa gets Regina to pay a bunch of money in ransom, and then falsifies the DNA samples, so that she thinks her real daughter is Roberta, who is totally in on The Plan, so that they can make off with the money, and leave Renata & Regina, whom they hate, with nothing.

When Regina finally finds (who she thinks is) her daughter, she calls everyone together, family and friends, to meet at the basilica in Mexico City to offer prayers of gratitude to the Virgin of Guadalupe, to whom she had been asking assistance for 25 years, and then has a little party at her house afterwards.

I have thought about that scene several times since I saw it. What strikes me is the idea of a Gratitude Party - to get together with loved ones for no other reason than to be really GRATEFUL for all of the good in our lives, and then to celebrate it with food and drink. Can you imagine the positive juju that would flow from an event such as this? It might sound a lot like Thanksgiving to you, but in my mind it's so much more (and less work) than that. Maybe even making some sort of ritual, like lighting a candle or something like that, and sending out a prayer or strong thought of thanks out into the Universe.

I'm going to think on it some more, and if anyone has ideas that would make a super duper Gratitude Party, I'd love to hear them!

Long Lost Friends

2011-06-21T10:17:00.002-07:00

A while back I wrote a post about my old friend, Cassi with whom I had lost touch about 12 years ago. She meant the world to me and I lost her, I let her go.

After searching and searching for her I finally found her - she has a website and through that I found her on Facebook and sent her a message in which I apologized for being such a jerk and asking for another chance.

at Cassi's apartment many, many moons ago!

She wrote me back and we've been in close contact ever since!!! She missed me too and our friendship that had such deep roots. She even started a private blog for us to write life messages to each other - she titled it "Long Lost Friends," and that is the perfect name for it. We were long lost, but I am so happy to say that now we are found! We write about the daily things happening in our lives and talk to each other about some of the deep stuff too. It's such a grand blessing!

In August I'm taking a trip to visit her for a week - I'll get to meet her husband and her two little boys and I absolutely can't wait!!! I'll also get to visit with her mom and step-dad, whom I think the world of. I'm over the moon excited to have this second chance with Cassi. Honestly it was like no time at all had passed. I mean, obviously we had a lot of catching up to do with what has gone on in our lives for the last decade, but our friendship was so much the same - the way we talked and could talk for hours and hours, just like in the past.

She is such a special person and now to get to know her with the element of Mother added in has been absolutely incredible. She's such a wonderful mother to her two little boys - she loves them fiercely and takes such great care of them. I always knew she'd be a marvelous mom and it's so fun to see her in that role.

I feel so lucky to have her back in my life and to share the things that we have been sharing with each other. I'm looking forward to sharing many more years of close friendship with her.

My wish for you today is lifelong friends.

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T11:18:00.000-07:00

Just over seven years ago I married my husband, Wayne Jacobsen, and he became my daughter's step-dad. Up until that point Dani and I had either lived with my parents or by ourselves.

It was a difficult adjustment: being married, having a man in the house when we were used to running around unclothed and not shutting doors, and having a dad actually in the house.

I was telling Wayne this morning that I'm so grateful for the man that he is - being such a wonderful dad to Dani and also such a great example of what a good husband is, so that when she gets to the point where she's looking for that - she'll know exactly what it looks like.

I hit the jackpot with this man and am grateful every day of my life for the perfect husband and amazing father that he is.

Plaster Studio Workshop with Stephanie Lee & Judy Wise

2011-06-13T07:17:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone!!!

I wanted to share with you what I'm going to be doing for the next few weeks. I've been working with artist, Stephanie Lee, on an e-book comprised of the content from her online metalsmithing class (which I took and was AMAZING). And now Stephanie and her good friend Judy Wise are doing a class, which begins today, on painting with plaster. It's called Plaster Studio Workshop and all of the details are here. We'll be using Plaster of Paris and Joint Compound and Plaster Gauze, all kinds of really organic stuff. I think Judy is even throwing in some encaustics, which I've recently taken up and am excited to learn more about!!!

The cost of the class is $100 and as someone who has taken one of Stephanie's classes before, I can tell you - you will get more than your money's worth for sure!

Registration for the class will stay open until Wednesday. I would love to see you there!

Matt & Erica's Wedding

2011-05-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

On April 17th my step-son Matt married the gorgeous and sweet and amazing Erica and I photographed the wedding and did a little photo shoot with them!!!

To be completely honest, ever since I heard about this lens borrowing service on Jenny Doh's website Crescendoh, I have been dying for an excuse to rent some professional lenses and this seemed the perfect occasion.

I rented this one (70-200mm 2.8) and this one (50mm 1.2) and found that I really only needed the 70-200. I want to warn you - if you're a budding photographer and you rent these lenses - you'll be sad, like I was/am because you'll want to own them and maybe like me, you can't because they are freaking expensive!!!

Anyway - on to the wedding!

Matt and Erica got married in Redlands, California, which is where I lived before I lived in Tucson, Arizona. It's a really charming town. They got married in Prospect Park with the orange trees in full bloom and the perfume they imparted was intoxicating! Really sublime.

After the ceremony we wandered into the trees and got some really fun shots, and then we went on to the old train station and snapped a couple more before heading on to the reception.

Here are some favorites:

American Idol Judges Got It Wrong

2011-04-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

There is a ton of talk today about “America Getting It Wrong” on American Idol last night. Twitter was on fire, many faceboook posts about how awful it was that Pia Toscano was let go, I’ve heard Randy’s comments several times on the radio already and I’m sure they’ll be played ad nauseum all day long. In my opinion, the judges are the ones that got it wrong. All wrong.

First of all, my initial reaction was not to Pia being let go, because frankly, I wasn’t that surprised. My heat was for the judges (whom I love, but ) who behaved abominably. Weather or not you like Pia, what did their reaction say to the people who were safe through to next week? Obviously they thought someone else should have gone home – so how must the winners have felt? “Is it me that they thought should be going home?” If my name is Stefano, I sure would have felt that way…and what about Jacob and the others?

The second thing that really bothered me about the judges’ reaction was on behalf of America. I don’t know how they could be so surprised that Pia got kicked off – I wasn’t surprised at all. I honestly believe that here is where the show misses Simon Cowell. A. Lot. Weeks ago while all of the judges were kissing her butt for how well she sings, and then as an aside telling her that she’s boring by only singing ballads and not moving at all on stage, (read performing), Simon would have told her straight up that she was boring and not going to last long if she didn’t step it up. He would have been right. And guess what judges? We heard you even if she didn’t and she was BORING! Yes, she has a beautiful voice and some day might be a great performer, but she’s not yet and it was long passed time for her to go home. The rest of the boring performers will soon follow, not to worry.

Yes, there are people still on the show who don’t sing as well as she does and there are boring performers, and eventually they will all go too. The one left standing will be the one with an amazing voice who entertains America. We won’t get it wrong, I promise.

Community Garden of Tucson and Juicing

2011-03-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

I think I’ve said before (maybe on the Sisterhood website) that my husband and I got a juicer for each other for Valentine’s Day. I’ve been trying really hard to eat better and take good care of us and the juicer is an integral part of our lives now. Sometimes it’s the only way that we get our veggies in a day…

Also, I recently began sharing a plot at the Community Garden of Tucson, with a friend of mine. We are growing some wonderful, healthy veggies like carrots and lettuce and arugula and we are getting ready to plant some more good stuff like swiss chard and kale.

On my first day at the garden, I picked some carrots and arugula and came home and juiced it up with some spinach and green apples that I had here. Within 20 minutes of picking I was drinking my vegetables – how healthy must that be?

I am super stoked about the potential of my little garden plot and if any of you have recipes for juices that you would like to share in the comments section, I would really appreciate it!!!

Tracy Anderson Torture

2011-03-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

I wanted to talk a little bit about the Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis DVDs. I learned about Tracy Anderson when a friend of mine sent me a link to this video. I was fascinated by what she was doing – I’ve never seen anyone move like that, but I didn’t pursue getting any more information about her or her products. Fast-forward a year and through Gwyneth Palrow’s newsletter GOOP, I saw that this same lady had come out with a new series of DVDs and I was very interested.

I purchased them last week and have currently completed the first set of exercises (cardio and isometric) twice. Before I say anything later on that may give you the wrong idea, I want to say that I LOVE these DVDs and will continue to use them as a frequent and maybe even huge part of my movement buffet. Here is a part of her infomercial…

I try very hard in life to be positive and only say nice things about people so I’m going to say that I feel that Tracy is a little wonky. Sweet, but wonky.

If you’re a rule follower, rigid in any way, these are not the exercise videos for you. Tracy does things like four counts of something on one side and three on the other or she’ll do the hand movements one side and not at all on the other. Sometimes she only does something once and then moves on – she definitely dances to the beat of her own drummer and you either deal with it and move on or you go insane…I’ve chosen to embrace the wonky because it’s a hell of a workout.

Also, there are no instructions – so if you’re the type of person who needs someone to verbally to tell you what’s coming up – this is not the system for you. Pretty much she dances and jumps around for a half an hour flailing her arms about and your job is to try to keep up.

I’m also going to say that Tracy is a dancer and probably has been dancing most of her life. She is in amazing shape and SHE sweats during this workout. It’s a hard, hard workout and I can’t do it. The first time I tried it, I jumped around for 5 minutes and then (sucking major wind) I had to take it to a “low impact” version for the next 25. Even that had me sweating buckets (which I don’t do as a rule, so her program seems to have made me turn a corner and I am pleased!!) I tried to do all of the same moves she was doing and I did all of the arm movements (flailing in my case, for sure) and got a heck of a workout. I haven’t really done aerobics like this since the 80’s..and even then, I wasn’t terribly adept at it…I’m not much of a jumper.

I’m assuming it will be like everything and get easier and easier as I go along. The second time was easier than the first, but I think I took two days off in between. She suggests doing this program every day for six days and resting from it on the seventh. No. Way. In. Hell. I can do that. So that’s another area in which there is a lot of room for improvement. I’m planning on doing it again tomorrow and that will be two days from the last time.

The second part of the program is an isometric DVD which she changes up for you every 10 days for 90 days, so 9 different version – that alone is pretty amazing and worth every penny I think. You begin with arms then move to arms with weights then onto a million & 2 sit-ups and then begins the hipcentric portion and where the torture comes in. She does 40 repetitions of each movement and there are 6 separate movements on one leg and then moves to the other. Just imagine doing 240 fire hydrants, but turning them up a notch, because of course she does, and then moving to the other side. Burn baby, burn.

(Above is what I wrote yesterday…I wanted to write more now because I just sat down after completing the third day of it.)

I wanted to write maybe a little more detailed description of some of the modifications that I’ve made and the progress that I’ve seen even from the first time to the third. Tracy will do things like jumping jacks, which I probably could do, but we must bear in mind that there is a LOT of me jiggling around and I really don’t want to hurt anything so I do really wide side steps and move my arms the same way; or she’ll be jumping and kicking her leg straight out it front and I’ll do a kick ball-change kind of move – things like that.

Each time I’ve done it I’ve tried to incorporate more and more of the jumping back into it and I do as I am able. Today I jumped quite a bit more than the first time, so I am slowly seeing that improvement. With respect to the hipcentric portion, I REALLY pushed myself to go from the 10 reps of each that I did the second time to as many as I possibly could. I pushed hard and I burned. I also yelled “Oh God” quite a bit. It burned like crazy. When I finish this exercise program my face is BEET red and sweat is pouring off of my body. Every muscle in my body has been worked and is quivering. And I know it’s working. Already I feel stronger – my muscles ache and I feel stronger. Things are moving and shifting. That – and I have so much energy when I’m done it’s amazing.

I might try it again tomorrow…

The Amazing, Fantastic, Super Spectacular Treadmill Desk

2011-03-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

Recently I came upon this video that is a segment from Good Morning America about a treadmill desk.

I was immediately fascinated by the concept – walking at 1.0 MPH while working on the computer, which is what I currently do while sitting on the couch, to burn calories and get fit.

I went online and looked for some and found them to be extremely expensive. Being the, “I can do that myself” kind of person that I am, I decided to construct my very own treadmill desk.

What I wanted to do and what I was forced into because of supplies and saw issues at my local Lowe’s home improvement center, were two different things.

I’ll take you through the process, in case you’re interested and an “I can do it myself” kind of person also.

Obviously the first thing I did was measure the treadmill and figure out exactly what pieces I needed and how big they needed to be. Here are all of the supplies that I gathered. When my husband and I went to the store, I wanted to get a solid piece for the top, but their saw was broken, so I had to get two smaller pieces and glue them together – not optimal, but it works. They made the cuts for the top and the legs.

This is the top after I glued it together and added the bracing. I used 2 x 2s for the bracing and the legs. I figured that that would be sufficient enough for me because I really only planned on using my Mac laptop on it – nothing heavy.

This is a photo of the top with the legs added.

Then I added bracing to the legs to add some stability.

After a little sanding the desk is ready for paint…which hasn’t happened yet.

And here it is in use. It’s holding my laptop on which I am working on some fairly detailed Photoshop editing. My TV is close by and I can see it perfectly from the treadmill - here I am watching March Madness (college basketball tournament). This day I walked at 1.3 to 1.4 MPH, which actually makes me sweat and burns about 250 calories for every hour I walk. I think I walked almost two hours this day.

I am beyond happy with the way it works and also with the amount of exercise that I get, while getting my graphic design work done, or while I am checking my emails, Facebook, and Twitter. I would say that it cost me about $55 in supplies, including the paint…

Please feel free to leave me any questions or comments that you may have about the construction or use of the desk.

My Couch to 5K Experience

2011-03-20T14:26:00.000-07:00

So, I wanted to update you on what’s been going on with me. As some of you know, I accepted a writing position with the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans website and I’ve had a couple of articles published there. It is very exciting and I have gotten a lot of really positive feedback, which is so tremendous to me.

Really the motivation for me to write about my weight loss journey in so public a forum was two-fold. First of all, and probably most obviously – I’ve got potentially a couple (few?) thousand people reading my story and cheering me on – which is wonderful but at the same time – I must produce results for them. They are counting on me – which brings me to main reason number two for publicizing those humiliating photos, and my weight and my measurements for a couple of thousand folks to read and that is if I touch one person, and they see a little of themselves in me and realize that they want what I’m getting – then I’m happy and it was ALL worth it. And I’ve had that – I’ve had many, many people tell me that I’ve motivated them to get back into exercise programs. It makes me feel tremendous!!!

While reading the Sisterhood blog I ran across one of their new writers who was talking about the Couch to 5K running program. I’ve been hearing about it a lot on Twitter, most specifically from Genevieve Gorder from HGTV! She’s doing it and is seemingly really happy with it. So I looked up what it was about and it sounded like something I could do. I’ve been using my Wii Fit and other exercise “games” fairly regularly for the last couple of months and have really wanted to start running again, so I decided to give it a try. There are podcasts that you download and the nice man tells you to start walking and he plays some funky music with a beat you’re supposed to follow and he says, “okay time to warm up” and stuff like that.

The first week you briskly walk 5 minutes then you begin your 60 second jog with 90 seconds of brisk walking cycle, which repeats 8 times, then the cool down walk. The podcast is 29 minutes, but I think the walking/jogging part was 20 or so…

Well, let me tell you how I did. First of all, I stayed very close to home – there is A LOT of me jiggling around and I wanted to keep that fairly private. I stayed on my cul-de-sac and the next one over and just keep doing loops. There is a slight grade and while jogging up the grade on my first jog I felt a little twinge under my left patella that kept me kind of limping through it and the next couple. But after that I adjusted so that the run part was always on the downgrade. Thankfully, I didn’t give up because it went away and the rest of the time I felt okay.

I will tell you that I WAS a couch potato – I would get out of bed and walk to the living room and spend all day on the couch – be it working or reading or trolling the blogs, what have you. I had recently become very sedentary. So in the whole Couch to 5K scenario – I seriously was the couch. While I was running (okay jogging), I remember thinking that it was hard. At one point I was sucking serious wind and the man voice came on and said that I should feel good and not tired or winded. Seriously? This is COUCH to 5K – any jogging is going to wind you when you’ve not exercised in a while. I think he was being a little unrealistic and air quoting the word couch and I wasn’t…

Anyway, I finished the first week outside, but was having some twinges below my left kneecap and was a little concerned, so I took it inside to the treadmill and found that it worked really well for week two. As of today I have finished all of week three and honestly couldn’t believe how easy it was! I ran for three minutes straight and could have kept going!

If any of you are “used to be” runners, like I was, this is a really good program to get yourself back in the game!!!

Rushity-Rush-Rush

2011-03-20T14:12:00.000-07:00

Today my husband and I went golfing and on the first fairway, during what should have been my second shot, but was more like my fourth because we didn’t warm up, and quite honestly I’m not that good…the threesome of ladies behind us waiting to tee off yelled at me, “come on.” I’d like to add here that it still wasn’t even their tee-time yet, but they felt the need to be rude and rush me along – during my backswing. A golf hell-to-the-no!!!

There was a time in my life, before my daughter, when I was a bit of a doormat and would have turned around, apologized profusely for my slow play and picked up my ball and hustled along lest I disturb their game any further. Puke, right?

Today, what I wanted to do was walk up to them, give them a polite lesson on golf etiquette and request an apology. What I did instead was turn around and wave to them (with my whole hand, not just a choice finger) and then went about my game.

Later, they hit into me. Another golf hell-to-the-no. So I was more than angry. Yell at me if you feel you must, but don’t endanger my person. So beyond inappropriate it’s not even funny. We were on pace to play a three hour round of golf, which is fast, so there was no need for this at all. And this happened to me the last time we played, so I was over all of the rushity-rush golfers, and when we finished our nine holes I went into the clubhouse and complained.

Funny angle, but I made this skirt with an Amy Butler pattern and fabric - my favorite golf skirt.

I would like to request on behalf of those of us who may be slowing you down in life, even though we aren’t, to please cut us some slack. There are a lot of people out there (me included) who are seldom in a hurry. We are where we need to be on time and don't have to rush. We stop and smell the roses and enjoy the view. Life is so much more enjoyable when we are just kind to one another, no?

My Heart

2011-02-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

For Valentine’s Day I thought I would write a post about my heart. My heart is 5’8” tall, half me and half Tongan (Polynesian), has my same shoe size and the hugest heart on the planet. My heart’s name is Danielle Malia although she chooses to go by Dani to her friends and is, and will always be, Dan to me.

Those of you who have children will more than likely know of what I speak when I say that my heart currently resides outside of my body and has for the past 18 years. From the moment that sweet, happy, chubby baby was born she had my heart and has walked around the globe with it ever since.

She has gone away to college – far, far away – 1,866.37 miles away to be exact. She’s in a little, tiny town called South Bend, Indiana or some call it Notre Dame, Indiana at the University of Notre Dame. She is a smart one and has always been a very driven soul. From the time she was seven she had a list of colleges that she wanted to attend and over the years there were additions and deletions, and shuffling arounds, but when push came to shove her senior year her top choice was Notre Dame. There was little doubt in my mind that she would get in, but the day we got that letter in the mail, we both cried tears of joy.

One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was take her to college and leave her there – the absolute hardest thing I’ve ever done was make her stay when she begged me to come home. Thankfully, she is settled now and has made some wonderful friends.

I’m anticipating that because my heart has such a huge heart one of the hardest things I’ve had to do is yet to come. She has decided that she wants to spend her summer doing service work and has chosen one of the most dangerous cities in the country in which to do it. I’m scared to death to let her go there and have voiced my trepidation – all to no avail. She is determined…one of her strengths – darn it!!

So, my heart will continue it’s journey to the corners of this country and beyond as my girl continues her travels and adventures. I hope she treads lightly on it!!!

Can't We All Just Get Along?

2011-02-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

I found some words. It’s taken me a little while and a lot of thought and soul searching, but I found some words and here they are:

Today is the one-month anniversary of the shooting that happened here in Tucson, Arizona in which Gabrielle Giffords and so many others were shot and many, many including a sweet little girl lost their lives. I started to write something right away about what happened and how I felt and how I felt about the criticism that people like Michelle Malkin were spewing on blogs about the memorial event at the U of A, but I really needed to step back and breathe before I wrote anything because I was in a state of shock over what happened and I was really angry at people like Michelle who were so judgmental about the way we grieve here and about the way in which we celebrate our heroes.

Few people in this country have any idea what something like this is like and how it affects you even though it doesn’t directly affect you. This shooting happened about 1.5 miles from where I live – literally right up the street and the victims were airlifted to the hospital in which my husband works as an anesthesiologist. I pass the grocery store where it happened on my way to choir practice every week and drive by Giffords’ office on my way to Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Tucson is a small town – it’s a town where you see Gabby and her husband when you go out to brunch downtown. And it’s a town where people rally around their own in times of trouble.

I found out about the shooting literally 10-15 minutes after it happened on Twitter of all places. We immediately turned on the TV and were glued. I told my husband about it, wondering if he would need to go in to work to help out. He then got a phone call from a colleague saying that several people had come in as soon as they found out about it to ensure that there was enough help in the ORs. There was too much help – that’s the kind of town this is. We lit a candle and prayed and stayed glued to the TV.

Later on that day we heard on the news that while there was enough blood in town to take care of the victims of the shooting, there was now a shortage at the blood bank and they were keeping locations open late for people with the necessary blood types to donate. My daughter and I are both those types so we drove (by Gabby’s office, where there were already tons of candles, cards and flowers and people) to the donation location. When we got there they had completely run out of supplies due to the overwhelming number of people who had gone out to give – that’s the kind of town this is.

Over the next couple of days we stayed glued to the TV for updates – about the status of the wounded, about memorial services for the deceased. We cried and we prayed. We cheered from our couch when Gabby made even the slightest progress – her successes were ours. We wept tears of joy as people were moved from critical to serious, from ICUs to regular beds.

We attended a vigil at Congresswoman Giffords’ office & my daughter went to the memorial held for Judge Roll and Christina Green. She signed up to be an angel at Christina’s funeral mass in order to keep out the Westboro group who intended to picket. It turned out that thousands of people signed up to be angels – too many people, so they were having them meet somewhere else to have a sort of peace rally instead – that’s the kind of town this is.

I want you to understand that this was a week of intense sadness, shock, anger, confusion and joy and miracles. It was a crazy week. And in our time of need our president came to town. He accepted an invitation from the president of our university – my university – to come and visit the victims and their families and to speak at a memorial event on the Wednesday following the shooting. My daughter and I stood in line for four hours to get in and we got in. When we went inside we were lucky to get a seat in the nosebleed section and had roughly an hour to wait until it would begin.

Here is what those of you who weren’t there don’t know. All week long we had been watching the TV at 10:00 a.m. for updates on the victims in the hospital at a hospital press conference. And every day we got more good news from the physicians about patients being removed from the critical list and moved to regular beds and being discharged and seeing their families talk about how well they were doing. That’s what kept us going – the good news. Amidst all of the sadness and heartbreak – there was good news every day at 10:00 a.m. And the bearers of the good news were some of the heroes in this sad story – the physicians. Fast forwarding to Wednesday and the memorial service, while we are waiting for it to begin – the VIPs begin to arrive and some of the very first were those physicians who had saved lives and brought us good news and we stood and we cheered them. We cheered the heroes. Then as more people came in – Janet Napolitano or Jan Brewer or Daniel Hernandez or Gabby’s Husband, Mark Kelly or our President and his lovely wife, we stood and we cheered them. We were thanking them for coming to be with us in our time of need, we were thanking them for being heroes and saving lives – we stood for them and we cheered – that’s the kind of town this is.

I think it’s really a shame that people like Michelle Malkin feel that in order to be loyal to their party they have to bash the other one, especially when she had absolutely no idea about what she was speaking. She was all hot and bothered over the fact that the T-shirts for the event were blue (democrat) when in actuality they were blue – University of Arizona Blue Pantone 281, and on and on. I’m not really sure why anyone feels that they have the right to judge the way a town grieves and/or rejoices. Or why anyone feels the need to judge at all. In the immortal words of one Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?”

Be Present and Deliberate

2011-01-23T16:42:00.001-07:00

Be Present and Deliberate is my mantra for 2011. I tried coming up with one word like everyone does that will represent the year to come, but one word is not nearly big enough to hold me, sorry, so I have a mantra and I think it’s the PERFECT one for me. Be present and deliberate in all aspects of my life.

I often times find myself hurrying to finish up something so that I can move on to the next thing.

I am a klutz.

I am going to take a huge leap and say that I think that the two previous statements have something to do with each other. Always being in a rush or too lazy to take things slowly, I inevitably spill something or trip or snag something or drop something…which then makes me have to do more work and/or waste time trying to clean up my mess. Which makes NO sense!!!

I really feel like a lot of times “be present” and “deliberate” go hand in hand with each other, but there are those times that they don’t. Those times when I’m having an actual conversation with someone and am not all there. I feel awful about this and it is one aspect of my life that will benefit from the “be present” portion of my mantra. I will be present in my conversations with people. I will give them all of me (as long as they weren’t interrupting me in the first place…). I will pay attention to what they are saying, to what they need from me. I will be present in their lives the way I want them to be present in mine.

One way in which I plan to be present and deliberate in 2011 is with respect to the food I ingest. Over the last four years (college anyone?) I have added a whopping 40+ pounds onto my already too large body. You can read more about that here. I would say that in order to get close to healthy I seriously need to lose 60 pounds. And I’ve decided to do that. I’m going to be present while I eat. I’m not going to eat and read (I do this A LOT), or eat and watch TV, or eat and, and, and… I’m just going to eat. And I’m going to be deliberate about every bite I take and I’m going to be deliberate about every food choice that I make.

Another way that I’m going to be present and deliberate in my life is that I’m going to get fit. I’m going to exercise and make movement a part of every single day for the rest of my life. I’m starting off on this journey with Jenny Doh, MSW and the peeps in her Crafting Fitness class and will be with her for five weeks or so to get jumpstarted, but then I’m on my own – just me and my body for the long haul.

We spent a couple of weeks logging our baseline steps and now we have increased them. I am deliberately moving each and every day. Some days I really have to make myself, but I have found that once I start moving, I don’t want to sit down. I’ve been painting standing up and walking around. It’s kind of weird for me, but movement seems to take on a life of its own. And I love how it makes me feel. I’m remembering a time in my life when I was fit and I want that again, badly.

So my being present and deliberate mantra is going to squeeze itself into every aspect of my life and I’m really excited to see how it changes me.

I would love to hear what your words and mantras are for the new year. I’m open to additions!!!

Kelly Rae Roberts' Taking Flight E-Book The Whole Shebang Is ON SALE

2011-01-05T13:26:00.001-07:00

Photo by Denise Andrade - isn't Kelly Rae so lovely?

Exciting news to all of you who missed her e-course over the summer or haven't yet purchased one or all of the e-books that sprang from it (which I designed for her, by the way - shameless self-promotion!!!)...Kelly has put The Whole Shabang on sale for the New Year!!!

Once only this year you can purchase the usually priced $140 e-book for $89 - a savings of over $50!!!

And you'll be able to download it immediately! You'll be able to begin putting your creative dreams into action straightaway!!!

Preview of The Pages

This pdf-based e-book is completely interactive, with hundreds of links, both internal and external so when Kelly Rae references an external site, you can click and go there to see exactly about what she is speaking. Or when she references something she spoke about earlier in the book, you can jump back for a reminder.

If your new year's goals include beginning or beefing up your creative business, this is the book for you.

You can click on the icon at the top of this page and it will take you to Kelly Rae's page. Although it says $140, when you add it to your cart it will show up as $89.

Don't miss this amazing opportunity. It will change your creative business life! And at this price - it's a STEAL!!!

I Am Obese

2011-01-03T16:19:00.001-07:00

Well, there you have it. And I’m not just saying that to be overly dramatic, I really am obese according to every BMI I could get my hands on…and I’m comfortably in that category too, not just barely – I’m in it with both feet!!!

If you’re a reader of this blog, you probably have a sense that I’ve had weight issues most of my life, starting back with my father – let’s call him Bruce because, well, that was his name. Bruce had me on diets from as early as I can remember. He had me on Herbalife and sent me to the Gloria Marshall Figure Salon, where at a very tender age, I was informed that I was 30 pounds overweight – the loss of which would have put me very firmly in the Twiggy category. I was nowhere near 30 pounds overweight. But this is what my parents told me and so this is what I believed.

Bruce decided to go on the “over 40 diet” and guess who got to do that with him while she was in high school and no where near 40? Yep, me!!! Oh goodie, rubbery, tasteless chicken and a stationary bike, just what I always wanted!

I shouldn’t blame just Bruce though, plenty of other folks felt free to comment about my weight. I specifically remember roller skating in the street one day with a neighbor, Mark and he said, “you have such a pretty face, if only you would lose a little weight…” Uh yeah – thanks for that, super helpful…

When I graduated from High School, all of my friends went on a trip to Hawaii for a week together. My parents said that I could go too, or I could go to Camp La Jolla (A FAT FARM!!!) for seven weeks on the campus of UC Santa Barbara. And honestly, who wouldn’t rather spend seven weeks in Santa Barbara as opposed to one lousy week in Hawaii? So, off to sunny Santa Barbara I went.

It was a great experience – we ate 1200 calories a day, exercised/moved for five hours per day and took classes in things like “behavior modification.” I literally didn’t eat for the first three days because they fed you things like tuna and cottage cheese, which had heretofore never touched the lips of yours truly. So, needless to say I lost weight. I lost about 20 pounds during those seven weeks and I gained a lot of self–confidence and poise. When I came home from camp it was still summer and I continued to exercise and eat right and lost even more weight – about another 10 pounds or so. I began UCLA in the fall and joined the rowing team, so I was exercising my butt off (YAY!!!) every day doing things like running stairs in the stadium and lifting weights.

And that weight I kept off until I got pregnant. My father used this opportune moment to say these charming words; “you’re not going to use this as an excuse to gain a bunch of weight are you?” I was 24 when I got pregnant and had been thin (almost Twiggy thin at one point in there) for six years and yet he somehow felt the need to shove weight in my face one more time. I didn’t indeed gain a ton of weight, I gained about 24 pounds and only had 8 to lose by the time I left the hospital to get me to my pre-pregnancy weight. I did really well. For some unknown reason it was painfully simpler to eat well for the child growing inside of me than it EVER has for me alone. And I did lose that 8 pounds pretty quickly and then I lost a bunch more again – getting downright Twiggy again.

Roughly eight years ago, I met my husband and it was a pretty stressful time of life, I had just switched jobs to a job that I loathed and other personal issues were making for tough, tough time. Apparently I fed that tough time with lots of food because in one year I gained about 30 pounds and since we’ve been married have only continued to gain and gain. I am now at an all-time high and obese.

Funny thing is, I actually don’t even have a bad body image. In fact, it’s quite the opposite I walk around feeling like I’m 60 pounds lighter and then I see myself in a mirror and have to do a double take to make sure that muffin top in the mirror is really me. This is just not how I see myself and it’s getting harder and harder to reconcile what I am in my head with what I am in the mirror or photos.

But the facts are the facts. I weigh more now than I did when I was nine months pregnant – a lot more in fact. I weigh more than every one of the U of A basketball players, and they are 6’6”. I am not. I am just about 5’10” and I weigh two hundred and thirty pounds. There I said it. Wow. Okay deep breath. At my Twiggy weight I was 149 – that’s an eighty pound swing and that just can’t be good for me.

So I have begun doing Ashtanga yoga several times a week. I physically can’t DO it the way it’s meant to be done, so I make my modifications and stick with it. I’ve heard that building muscle is good for you because you continue to “burn” even after the muscle building activity is over, so that’s good, I need all the help I can get over here.

In addition to this, I’m beginning Crafting Fitness with Jenny Doh of Crescendoh in just a couple of weeks (actually today - I wrote this post a while ago and just go the guts to publish it today) and I’m very excited about that – especially for the community of, so far only women, with whom I’ll be doing it. I like the idea of getting fit and staying fit for the rest of my life. I got off the right track eight years ago and I’m quite literally dying to get back on.

So stay tuned folks, Laurie is on the road to fit and there’s no stopping her now.

#Reverb10 Travel: a poem

2010-12-22T10:20:00.001-07:00

December 22 – Travel: How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)

Venice, Italy 2010

I traveled by boat, by train, by plane, and by car,

I traveled by feet and by skates and by other ways I can’t remember what they are…

(I am NOT a poet)

Next year I would like to travel to the Portland, Oregon area to see my old friend Cassie!!! Woot-woot!!!

And I would like to travel to an art or writing retreat somewhere that is incredibly beautiful, where I might encounter an owl giving a hoot (hoot).

(I didn’t really even need to tell you that, did I? you already knew I wasn’t a poet)

On Being Friends With Your Child...NAAAT

2010-12-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

Recently, one of my daughter’s closest friend’s mother informed me that she (my daughter) and I have a very weird relationship. She felt free to repeat that over and over and over to me. “You just have a very weird relationship;” she stated it in an almost bewildered tone…like “you know your relationship with your daughter is weird, right? I just don’t have any other words to use to describe it.”

a few years ago at Disneyland

I kind of laughed it off at the time, but the more I thought about it the more it crawled under my skin and wouldn’t leave. First of all – who in the world are you to judge my relationship with my child? It’s really no one’s concern at all, unless I am abusing her, which I am not, so um, butt out. And secondly, what’s your definition of weird? That we are close? That she tells me things? That we can finish each other’s sentences? That we like the same music, books, TV shows? Does all of that make us weird? If so, you’re absolutely right, but that’s not MY definition of weird.

And lastly, feel free to keep those thoughts to yourself. We don’t need to share all of our thoughts all of the time.

another thing we share is a love of sporting events - we're both crazy for football

My daughter and I are very close. I was a single mother until she was 11 and that circumstance sort of dictated that we be close – we lived alone together so we talked to each other and hung out together, watched TV together, danced around the house to Mexican music while playing the maracas and tambourine together. How can you not be close, really?

Now, don’t let all of this closeness fool you, I am the first to tell my daughter that we are not friends – she has peers to fulfill that role in her life and we have VERY firm mommy/daughter boundaries. She does what I tell her to do and she gets to have a life – it’s pretty simple, really. We are friendly and we do share many common interests, but we are not “friends.”

here we are in Russia where her volleyball team was playing in a tournament

I heard Dr. Phil (yeah, I know, I used to watch...) say years ago that he used to get on the floor and play video games with his son because during those times of shared activity, his son felt comfortable talking to him about things and opening up to him. I’ve never actually had to contrive situations for Dani and I to talk. She thinks I’m cool and her friends tell her that I’m cool because I share a love of the kind of music they listen to – they think it's funny that I know all of the words to their favorite songs. Their parents despise their music and don't even want to listen to it, let alone bother to learn the words.

So over music (as well as many other things) Dani and I have bonded. I think it’s important to be able to relate to your child on some level, whether it is their art, or their sports or their love of reading, or math or their music. Not just to watch them do it, but to participate. When a child feels that you share something, it makes them feel connected to you in a way that little else can do – especially as they grow up and move away. You have a common vocabulary, which with a teen, may seem an impossible feat. And it works both ways. When you have that shared interest/bond, the complex labyrinth that is the teen mind opens up to you in ways you never imagined. You understand each other on a much deeper level.

at a John Legend concert - more my taste than her's, but she loved it

Dani is proud to have me as her mom. I went to visit her at school recently and she'd told her friends I was coming and they all wanted to meet me because she had talked me up so much. It was super sweet and made me feel so good. And I am equally as proud to introduce her to my friends. We respect each other and love each other and are close. Weird? I think not.

#Reverb10 Future Self

2010-12-21T11:03:00.000-07:00

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead?

Five years from now I’ll be 47 and I’ll be financially secure and I’ll be physically fit and I’ll be more in touch with myself (not in a creepy way…heh heh). So I would like to look back at my current self and say,

“Laurie, you’ve been pretty hard on yourself lately – and maybe you need to be to shake things up a little bit for you – let’s face it you’ve been in a rut since school finished up. Dani is away in college and you’re home alone, literally…all day, every day. Make a plan, make a list and then stick to it, mark items off of it when complete – it feels good. Get out of the house, do things for people, make a difference in someone else’s life, GIVE!

Making fitness a part of every day of your life is going to be so worth it – you’re going to love how you feel at 47 – healthy and fit and alive. You love how you look and how you feel – stick with it!!!

Now that you’re digging yourself out of debt – stay that way!!! Make the smart choices, even if they are difficult choices, EVERY DAY to stay financially secure. It feels amazing to live debt free, to have some savings for when those things like bald tires needing replacing come along. You feel so much more safe & secure – it’s totally worth it.

Be gentle with yourself and take everything one day at a time and you’ll be just fine. Keep moving forward – don’t allow yourself to stagnate. Move. Forward. Move and keep moving. Baby steps if you have to, but move. And don’t ever give up – I’m telling you, it’s all so worth it in the end.”

#Reverb10 Beyond Avoidance

2010-12-20T22:05:00.000-07:00

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

First of all – I really dislike the word “should” and have striven quite strenuously to remove it from my vocabulary because it’s rife with shame and I’m not into shame anymore…it is, in fact, something I let go of…both shame and should!!!

Anyway to the prompt…One thing that I wanted to do this year that I didn’t do was sign up for an art retreat that I REALLY want to go to next year - because of fear.

My biggest fear is showing up in a situation such as this retreat and not knowing people and/or having other people know each other and then being excluded or having people not like me. HUGE fear. Because then you’re stuck there and it might be so awkward…

I love my home because it’s my safe place – people love me here, no matter how bad the art I make is, they love it – no matter that the joke I told is lame, they’ll still laugh. I’m loved here and safe here and so I really like it here. What if I went several hundred miles away by plane and car and ferry and had to share a bed with someone who didn’t think I was as funny as I do? Awkward!! It’s so much easier and safer just to stay home. Right? I can’t be alone in this, right?

It is, however, on my mental list of things that I want to do someday…this is one (ARTFEST) and this is another (Be Present – Joy) that I really want to go to. So I’m throwing it out there to the universe and maybe I’ll get over the fear and take the plunge out of my comfort zone and go have fun at one of the these amazing retreats.

Go and Be a Blessing!!!

2010-12-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

Totally stole this from the Brave Girl Club website - with their permission, I think...

I made it my computer background wallpaper thingee and encourage you to do the same - just take it and make it...and then do it - go and be a blessing to someone today!!! I'm totally going to try!

2010 Christmas Funk

2010-12-19T12:55:00.002-07:00

Feels like forever since I’ve written a post, but I guess it hasn’t really been that long. And I actually wrote one – a long one – that was up for about 2 minutes and then I took it down. It all started with that post really, which was about our Christmas tree. But it was also about so much more than our tree – it was about being gentle with people and self-fulfilling prophesies and mostly it was about my husband, who sort of bull-dozed his way through the decorating of the tree, as he does every year.

it's a stunning tree, no?

I’m not going to re-hash that post, because that is why I took it down in the first place. I felt like I was throwing my husband under the bus and I don’t want to do that. My husband is amazing and I adore him, but I am the second iteration of wives for him and lets just say that he came with some luggage and leave it at that.

So the whole tree fiasco was what began what I’m going to call the 2010 Christmas Funk. I have had no spirit for Christmas at all this year. I tried playing choral Christmas music, which is my absolute favorite – especially when it’s British and I can belt it out at the top of my lungs, but that didn’t work. I decorated the rest of the house – hung the stockings from the fireplace with care, etc. etc…and all for naught. No spirit was to be found anywhere.

Christmas pillow that I made for my mom using an iron on transfer from BenDayPaper

The really sad part is I used to LOVE Christmas, the music, the decorations, the gift-giving (and getting!!!) and the baking and the company, and and, and….I’m wondering where that person went and if I can get her back. I know there are “reasons” that are contributing factors to said Funk such as, my Dani was away and I missed her so much and for the first time she wasn’t here to partake in the decorating at all, and we spent so much money in and on the Italy trip that there is not much for exchanging presents, etc.

So, I’ve been in this Funk, feeling like a failure at life, a failure at Christmas. And I haven’t wanted to write anything because I didn’t want to be negative and a downer at a time when it seems that everyone else is so freaking cheerful. I tend to withdraw into myself and into my cocoon, closing myself off from the world so as not to spread my lousy mood around. I didn’t leave the house for days at a time or speak with anyone but my husband in person – I tend toward the hermit anyway, so I’m constantly in a struggle to interact and now the struggle was gone and I gave in to it.

Those of you who know me in real life might be surprised that I describe myself as a hermit because the fact of the matter is I love people – meeting them, talking to them, getting to know them, laughing my happy ass of with them – socializing in general. Love it. So I guess that is sort of weird to be a hermit that loves to socialize. It takes a lot to get me to a party, but once there - have an amazing time. Weird? Well, that’s me for better or worse.

from a recent visit to her at college

Anyway, I’ve gotten used to the tree – it really is beautiful in a department-store tree way, which is not my deal AT ALL, and my Dani is home, which makes me so happy I feel like I could split at the seems. I get to see her face and kiss her goodnight and hug her whenever I want – that makes it Christmas…and I got her some gifts that I will wrap and that will make it more Christmas and maybe little by little the spirit will seep in and overtake the Funk…that’s my Christmas wish this year. What’s yours?

Today

2010-12-18T17:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything in a while and I'll address that later, but I wanted to share a sweet treat that I made today.

My mom commissioned me to make a Christmas ornament for my aunt and uncle, with whom she exchanges ornaments every year, utilizing my newfound metalsmithing abilities. I was really excited at the prospect and couldn't wait to see what I came up with!!

I know that my Tios appreciate funky, artsy stuff - they have always been big supporters of me and my artistic endeavors, so I was pretty sure that I could go funky, which I did and I think they'll love it.

The whole metalsmithing class that I took with Stephanie Lee, while amazing and I'm certain life-changing, was also a REALLY expensive endeavor. I have only been able to piece-meal supplies and so haven't really even been able to keep up with the lessons, because I didn't have everything necessary to complete the daily lessons. Today, though, I finally had everything I needed and was excited to get to work.

I began by etching the metal, which I am going to say right now, I will probably NEVER DO AGAIN!! It was a very messy, acid-filled adventure that I felt resulted in less than spectacular effects. I spilled the acid - which I should have known better than to use in the first place as I am a total klutz - and then had to safely clean it up...Y U C K.

Here you can see the barely etched metal - it's the script...

So, as you can see in the photo above, I tried to etch in some text, and in the defense of etching I may have used too thin a script - I don't know, but I wasn't happy at all with the result. Also you can see that I have begun to attach some brass corners with solder.

All four corners are attached

Next I soldered on a crown and some wings and added the patina, which gives it a cool aged look.

Theoretically the patina is supposed to get into the etched text, but it never did...

Then I cleaned off the patina, drilled a hole, added a grommet and some chain and we have Christmas ornament!!!

Finished Ornament

I am over the moon about how it turned out!! I love the way the patina sticks to the solder and gets deep into the crevices of the brass to give it such a great aged look.

I'll be back tomorrow - hopefully - with a bit about what's going on in life.

Blessings to you!

#Reverb10 Make

2010-12-06T21:12:00.002-07:00

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

I skipped the last couple of prompts (Wonder & Let Go). I don’t know if I was burned out on these Reberb10 prompts or what, but when I saw Day 4 Wonder: How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis) I threw up a little in my mouth; I’m not going to lie. How did I cultivate a sense of WONDER in my life this year? Oh that’s rich – really rich. I’m not even sure I know what wonder is anymore. Didn’t we all lose that sense of wonder when we were about seven?

Perhaps not, but my ability to be wowed in a wonder-ment sense is fairly shot. Am I completely jaded? Maybe, but I’m not sure that you can even CULTIVATE wonder – aren’t those two things completely oxymoronic?...Develop a sense of surprise – how does one even go about doing such a thing? I don’t know and that’s why I didn’t answer the prompt. Enough said. Moving on.

So, back to today’s prompt, which in case you forgot was what have I made lately...The very last thing I made is a necklace that will be making its debut soon in my new shop (which hasn’t opened yet) SWAK by Elle Jaye. I absolutely love it and am super proud of it because I took a couple of new skills that I developed this year and threw them together in an unexpected way (at least it was unexpected to me – maybe I was even wondered by it?…) and was completely thrilled with the outcome.

I think I'd better figure out how to photograph jewelry before I try to sell it...

I used sterling silver and some freshwater pearls, both materials that absolutely LOVE, which may be one reason that I’m so in love with this necklace.

There are tons more things I want to make and plan to make, once I learn how. Tomorrow I’m supposed to be learning some new techniques in my Metalsmithing with Stephanie Lee class that I’m going to turn into a (commissioned) Christmas ornament…I can’t wait to get going on that.

And in other news, we got our Christmas tree today. I really wanted to wait until my baby got home from college to get it, because she is a very talented tree-picker, but my husband is a lover of Christmas and wanted to get the tree and get it decorated. Maybe it will help to get me into some semblance of spirit that thus far this season has evaded me…Isn’t she a beaut? Maybe our best ever - she stands nine feet!!!

There she is ready to come home...

And here she is in all her glory!!! I wish we could leave it like this and not decorate it at all - SMELLS WONDERFUL!

And in still other news - here is my beautiful girl at Notre Dame today...

My Dani is having fun in the snow, while it was 80 here today - maybe that's why I have no Christmas spirit - it's not even winter here yet!!!

#Reverb10 Moment

2010-12-03T20:12:00.001-07:00

Today's Reverb10 Prompt is by Ali Edwards:
Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

Life is made up of moments; good ones & bad ones, boring ones & exciting ones, nurturing ones & healing ones, loud ones & quiet ones, funny ones & sad ones. In fact, I’m having one right now and I’m alive…but somehow I don’t think that is what Ali was talking about in her prompt.

It was a little difficult to think of one moment this past year in which I felt most alive. I’ve had a lot of happy, proud and celebratory moments this year, but that word “alive” has kind of been needling me. Looking back over my year I can say, “Okay, that was a good moment” but did I feel “alive” in it? Hard to say.

This was one of my great moments of 2010

Then, as I was driving this morning and mulling this prompt over, it struck me – that one moment in which I indeed felt ALIVE.

Allow me to give you a little back-story. My husband and I were recently in Italy for three weeks. I’m going to apologize to him now for saying this because he may read this at some point, but I did not want to take the trip. We really couldn’t afford it, so I was very stressed out about the money aspect of it, and I had just left my daughter for her first year of college almost 2,000 miles away from me and now I was taking myself further from her. It was torture. I don’t use that word lightly – it really was an excruciatingly difficult thing for me to do. I love my husband so very much and didn’t want to tell him no – we can’t go, we can’t afford it and no, I don’t want to be across the planet from my baby, what if she needs me and I’m living it up in Italy? No.

So we went to Italy for three week. I found it hard to be present and in the moment a lot of the time while on the trip because I was really worried about my daughter who had just texted me begging me to let her come home from school – she hated it there. I was so torn between wanting to be with my husband and have a good time on this once in a lifetime trip and running to my daughter to make everything okay for her. She was constantly in my thoughts – I was always worried for her.

Toward the end of our trip we went to Venice. I love Venice – I had been there before when I was 17 and was really looking forward to going back as an adult. At the beginning of our trip rented a car in Rome and had driven basically from one end of the boot to the other, leaving out only the very northern part of Italy. We returned the car at the Marco Polo Airport in Venice and had to lug our baggage, which at this point in the trip had multiplied exponentially it seemed, out of the airport and way over to the water bus/taxi stand. It was exhausting. We were so tired that we opted to take a water taxi to our hotel instead of the bus, which would have required us to make many stops along the way.

Good decision.

I got on the water taxi and had to duck to sit down under the covering. I sat down with a great deal of pleasure to be done with the walking and with the lugging. Once the driver revved the engines and we were off, a wave of peace came over me like nothing that I had felt in a very long time.

This is the photo my husband took of me on the water taxi.

{I’m going to tell you at this point that I am a Pisces and when I say am, what I mean to say is I AM a Pisces in every sense of the word. I am a fish. I love the water. I love the ocean particularly, but just about any body of water will do, including a bathtub…I’m not too picky.}

The back of the water taxi was open to the air – my second favorite thing next to water is air blowing on my face and we leaned our heads back and felt the soft spray of the water on them while the breeze was blowing our hair back. My husband looked at me and said, “You’re a different person on the water.” It kind of surprised me, but he was so right. I was a different person. All of my worries and cares floated away like the spray of water and I was at peace and I was Alive. You know/remember that feeling of being on a swing and pumping your legs to get you higher and higher – when you tip your head back and close your eyes and just FEEL the sun warming your face and the wind gently blowing through your hair? Alive. Yes, it was just like that – only better for me because water was involved, but it was that wonderful, close your eyes and just be in the moment and FEEL that is so achingly beautiful and so rare in life these days. It was very in the moment and very alive.

#Reverb10 day 2

2010-12-02T10:23:00.002-07:00

December 2 Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

I suppose that Leo is asking me what is keeping me from writing each day as though it were (should be – ew!) my goal to write every day, but it’s really not. I’m a three to four blog post a week kind of gal, and I like it that way. Plus, it takes me about 20 minutes to kick one out, so I never spend whole days writing anyway, unless the spirit moves me. If I want to write, I write.

So, I am just going to say that nothing keeps me from writing when I want to. I do many other things to fill my days, knitting and design, metalsmithing and spending time on social media, but none of that is keeping me from doing any of the others. I love it all and I do it all – they all get equal amounts or enough time from me. So I have no current plans to eliminate anything from my day.

#Reverb10

2010-12-01T21:20:00.002-07:00

#Reverb10 “Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what's happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead.” -from reverb10.com

December 1 One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

Trying to encapsulate 2010 into one word is going to be really difficult for me. Big things happened: I graduated from college at 42, my daughter graduated from high school and moved 1,866.27 miles away to college, I met some great new friends, I reconnected with a lot of really great old friends, I got some work, I took up a new craft, got a new dog, gained a bunch of weight, cut my hair – grew my hair – cut my hair, well you get the idea, I went to Italy. A lot of really good things and some not so good things and I’m not seeing a theme form here at all.

Trying to encapsulate 2010 into one word is going to be really difficult. Maybe Change should be the word – that is a word that seems to fit just about everything that happened. Okay, 2010 was the year of Change.

For my look back on 2011 word I’m stealing from another Reverb-er Olive + Hope (which is where I learned about Reverb10) and the word is Expand. I want to expand myself – except for my weight, which I’m hoping will go in the complete OPPOSITE direction, oh how I wish I could have two words then I could say Expand and Contract, but they won’t let me so, Expand, I guess… Yes, Expand. I want to learn new things and experience new things, and feel new things. I want to expand my horizons and my thinking. I want to expand my positive influence in the world. Expand.

What I'm Doing Right Now!!!

2010-11-30T11:46:00.001-07:00

I'm still feeling a little under the weather with a head cold - trying like crazy to get over it before the big football game (UA vs. ASU) on Thursday night.

I decided to try to make myself as happy as possible and since it's REALLY cold outside, I thought perhaps a fire was in order:

So I'm sitting in front of this (not so) roaring fire and knitting!!!

This is the beauty of a scarf that I've been working on lately. Holy crap what a pattern - it's 6 different rows repeated over and over with this really silky (read slippery as all get out) yarn with gorgeous sparkly beads. I have quite literally started and ripped out this scarf 40 times.

I just recently learned to knit by making this necklace by Jenny Doh of CRESCENDOh.com, who by the way is rapidly becoming my new life guru...just saying. Jenny goes through the whole project on a video, so it was REALLY simple. With this pattern though, there are only text directions - no video, so it took me a while, and many, many rippings out before I got it right - I had to reference a couple of books and youtube videos and my mother (thanks, mom) before I was finally able to figure it out. But I did! Isn't it cool?

Even still, I have to read each line/row a couple of times to get it in my head and then say each stitch as I'm doing it, or I totally mess up. It's that complicated. So, this I do when I'm alone at home with no distractions...like now.

The Power of Words: To Heal or to Hurt

2010-11-29T11:37:00.002-07:00

It some countries all you have to do is say three times “I divorce you” and you are divorced. Just like that – right then and there. No court, no judge, no lawyers, just words. Say it and it’s so. Imagine being able to put a negative saga in your life to bed, just by saying three little words. That’s pretty powerful don’t you think? I sure do.

Think about how the power of words has affected you in your own life. Have you ever been made to feel bad by someone who said something negative about you or to you, and they may not have even meant to be critical, but you took it that way? Or conversely, have you felt good because someone praised you with his or her words? Sure you have, we all have. Yet somehow the negative sticks so much more than the positive. I don’t know why, I’ve never done a study and I’m not an authority on the subject. I only know about the negative words that people have said to me in my life that have hurt me so badly and then stuck. They get right down into the crevices of our souls, I think, and they just don’t want to let go. It becomes somewhat of a tug of war with these words that we have taken in and are ferociously holding onto for some inexplicable reason.

I have a necklace that I purchased for myself many, many years ago that says “Embrace Life.” It's a small silver disk and the words are engraved in a circle around the hole in the center. Every day when I put it on, it reminded me, not only to hold on – although some days that was all I had it in me to do – but to embrace this life that I have and this journey that I’m on. That necklace helped me through the tough times. Some days, I would seek it out and put it on like it was a talisman, something that had magical powers to help me. And in reality it did. That’s the power of positive words – to heal, to strengthen, to encourage, and to remind us of our worth. Plus I think there is something about having those positive words close to your heart. Maybe it's the heat generated by the thump, thump, thumping working its positive magic on them - I don't know, but there is something very comforting about having them there.

I’ve been thinking about this so much lately, as I am learning to embrace my imperfections along with Dr. Brené Brown. So I’ve decided to take my newfound metalsmithing abilities and try to turn them into something very positive. I just opened an Etsy store called SWAK by Elle Jaye – SWAK = Sealed With a Kiss, and the Elle Jaye for L. J. = me. There is nothing to be found in the store just yet, but I can’t wait for you to see some of the jewelry designs. The premise behind them is to heal or empower or strengthen through words.

This is my first finished "metalsmithing" piece., One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest. I am IN LOVE with it!

I have long felt the power of words and have always tried to be incredibly careful in my word choices, both for accuracy and for the weight that they carry. Hopefully through my hands and through my heart and through some words, I can bring peace or healing or strength to someone like me who might need them.

My wish for you today is the embracing of life.

Metalsmithing with Stephanie Lee

2010-11-23T11:05:00.001-07:00

Stephanie Lee

Here is my little setup so neat and pristine

On November 8, I began a five-week online class in metalsmithing. I’m very attracted to metal and was immediately interested in doing something that had to do with fire. I like fire (see this post). Stephanie is an author of a book on jewelry making (affiliate link) and is pretty famous in the art world for her work and also for the real life classes she teaches as well.

The Metalsmithing Class

In the class so far we have learned how to prepare our substrate, how to flood it with solder (using our torch!!!) and how to add a bezel.

My first flooded piece

That’s as far as I got before I went to visit Dani at Notre Dame, where I was computer-free the entire time. But when I got back, there were a bunch more lessons up, so I’m about to go crazy with more fire and metal stampings and jewels!!!

Here you can see that firestone getting a bit dirty

The best part about these classes is all of the videos. Stephanie is very clear and demonstrates the techniques really well. And it’s really like being in the room with her, except you get to pause and rewind and replay over and over again!!!

my first bezels - bumpy but good

I’m really loving it and can’t wait to add fibers to these little babies. I think they’ll add a really nice juxtaposition to the metal.

Stay tuned for more exciting adventures with fire!!

The Golden Rule

2010-11-16T11:27:00.001-07:00

I think this pretty much speaks for itself and it speaks deeply to my heart...

Thanksgiving Two Week Early

2010-11-13T09:42:00.001-07:00

I haven’t cooked Thanksgiving dinner for several years because we’ve gotten into the habit of going out letting someone else do the cooking for us. Also, where my husband works, a lot of people can’t get home to their families and we have sort of adopted them and brought them along with us. It becomes a really fun party.

I have to admit that as much as I like cooking, it’s really nice not to have to spend those two days doing dishes after working an entire day focused on cooking a single meal. The only real downside to not cooking dinner myself is, of course, no leftovers. And what is Thanksgiving dinner without some stellar leftovers? Well, I’ll tell you it’s Empty and Hollow and just plain Sad.

This year, my husband’s son and his fiancé, who can’t make it for a visit during the real Thanksgiving, are here and I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for them last night. I was beyond excited!!! Maybe it’s because I haven’t done it in so long or maybe it’s just because I wanted to prepare this meal for them. I’ve always loved feeding people and this is REALLY the cook’s holiday because not only do you get to make the main course, but also there are all of those wonderful sides and deserts that go along with it. To me feeding people a nicely prepared & delicious meal = LOVE.

My favorite part of the whole meal was hearing my step-son's moans of pleasure. It just sent tingles straight to my heart. And then afterwards, everyone pitched in to clear and clean, so I won't be doing that for two days!! It was a wonderful time.

This is what we ate:

ROAST turkey – I’m talking the 500 degree roasting of a turkey. If you’ve never roasted before, you MUST, must, must do it this year. Comment me and we’ll talk turkey. I have an amazing roasting cookbook that I reference. Meat is just not the same when it’s roasted at high temperatures. It gets a wonderful hard crust on the outside and is melt in your mouth juicy and tender on the inside. I did a 16 ½ pound turkey straight from the fridge in just over an hour - no more hot, hot, hot kitchen all day. And it was the best turkey I’ve ever eaten. To. Die. For.

Candied Yams with Pecans – NOT from a can!! My first time ever not preparing yams from a can. This year’s were organic yams from Whole Foods - with HOMEMADE marshmallows and roasted pecans. There is nothing like homemade marshmallows - holy cow, seriously. This year I used Ina Garten’s boxed mix from the grocery store – they are so good and much easier to prepare than all the way from scratch. Then I took my kitchen torch to the marshmallows and buttered pecans, and well, you can imagine how amazing that dish was. (Are you getting that I get just a bit excited about food? -You should have seen me when I was torching those marshmallows, I was in pure ecstasy!!

Green beans

Herbed Organic Mashed potatoes

Orange/Cranberry sauce from Williams-Sonoma, because there really is no substitute for this. It's sweet and tangy and totally delish!!

Stuffing with Cranberries and Pecans – Trader Joe’s, get it, it’s amazing.

Traditional Pumpkin Pie and whipped cream.

I would love to hear from you what you are going to eat for Thanksgiving, and I’m always open to new recipes to try, so feel free to share your best!

Also, I found a tutorial through Crescendoh.com for someone who made burlap place mats and coasters in the manner of those seen at Pottery Barn. So I went to Pottery Barn a couple of days ago and saw that they were using burlap as a table runner. I already have a really nice very fall-looking runner that I got about six years ago from Crate & Barrel, but I decided to make a runner to put underneath it. It’s amazing and so easy. Basically, I just sewed a seam about ½ inch in from the edges and then pulled the outside threads so that they fray. It’s the most simple and cool way to add some very interesting texture to the table. I also made placemats in a similar manner, but doubled up the fabric to ensure that the table is safe. Burlap is a really perfect Thanksgiving fabric because it’s such a fall color to begin with and I am all about the texture in EVERYTHING, so I am really loving this look!!

I would also be interested in any fun holiday craft ideas that you’ve got – feel free to link to your stuff if you want to show it off!!

Happy Thanksgiving a little bit early…

I Beg your Indulgence

2010-11-10T18:46:00.002-07:00

For those of you who don’t know me, I have a daughter – my only child – who is away at her first year of college. She got great grades in high school (was number one in her class actually), she played volleyball for three years, was on student council for four years, was asked by faculty to be on their newly created Integrity and Tolerance (gosh, I hate that word) Committees, was involved in student retreats and sang in the mass choir. And she was accepted to and now attends the University of Notre Dame.

In addition to all of that, she is such a great kid with such a huge heart!! There is no first place for huge hearts, no scale by which to measure it, but I’m here to tell you that she is one of the absolute kindest and most caring people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Not saying she’s perfect mind you, because I guess it kinds of sounds like that when I re-read it. We have certainly had our fair share of arguments and laying down of the law, but mostly she amazes me.

This is a painting that I did for her when I found out she was number one in her class.

Today I had the pleasure of reading a research paper that she wrote entitled, “Love Thy Neighbor: Disordered Homosexuality and Catholicism at Notre Dame” It’s about how the Catholic church feels about homosexuality and how they reconcile two rather disparate ideas of loving one another as you love yourself, and their position on homosexuals. It is a really well written paper and if I were her instructor I would for sure give her an A, but beyond that, what I as a parent love, love, love about my daughter is that she is so vocal and so passionate about a cause that has nothing to do with her personally. She is not homosexual.

It’s really easy to get behind something when it affects your life, autism, equal rights, etc., but to be so invested in something that really has nothing whatsoever to do with you, is pretty special, I think.

So, good for you Danielle for speaking out for people who may not have a voice, or who may be too afraid of the consequences to use their own. To champion another's cause because it's right is the purest definition of love. You are a beautiful person and you do truly amaze me.

Removing "Should" From the Equation

2010-11-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

The other day I decided to make every effort to remove the word “should” from my vocabulary. It is a word that I say to myself in my head quite a bit throughout the day – I should do a load of laundry, I should pick up the house, I should go to the grocery store and make my husband a nice dinner for when he gets home.

The problem as I see it, is that having the word should in my life brings on the guilt. I should do those things, because I haven’t done those things = guilt over being a bad wife, housekeeper, etc.

The fact of the matter is, that I really like doing those things. I really like having clean clothes at my disposal, I really like living in a neat home and I really LOVE cooking for people, especially for my husband because he is always so appreciative of my culinary abilities.

It kind of dawned on me the other day. The “should” part of me would walk by the hamper and my shoulders would slump and I would immediately feel guilty that I hadn’t done that load of laundry that I “should” have done. Then I would carry that around with me for the rest of the day. You get the idea. “Should” has been bringing me down. I don’t want him anymore. Mmm hmmm you heard me, him. He’s way too heavy to be female.

So what I have decided to do is to remove the “should” and replace it with “want” because that really is completely accurate. I want to do a load of laundry because I want clean clothes at my disposal. It immediately turns it from a shame ridden chore into something quite different and I hesitate to say, almost fun. I want to do laundry? Well, sure I do because I want clean clothes – well then by George, I’m gonna go do the laundry, dang it – Yay!!! Fun!!!

Perhaps that is the slightest of exaggerations, but try it sometime. The next time that evil “should” pops into your head, repeat the sentence with the word “want” in his place and you will notice an immediate change like I did or your money back!! Seriously, the slumped shoulders go away and your attitude is completely different. It’s almost miraculous!!

Please let me know what you think and if it works for you!

My wish for you today is that it is a shame free one!

Old Friends

2010-11-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

So the other day I was reading a blog written by my (new) friend, Kelly Rae Roberts and she was talking about friends who have known you your whole life. How great it is to have someone who has those old stories of you, who ‘remembers you when.’ I have a friend like that. One that I lost many years ago and her name is Cassi.

I’m going to say it now...I’m going to admit it here to the world. I am not a good friend. I have lost more people that I really cherished in my life than I have kept close to me. What a horrible thing to admit – what a worse person to be. But it’s true. I’ve spent most of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop and maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy sort of deal. I had a really good friend and would wait for it to get screwed up and then it (I) would. I’ve always waited for people to leave me and they inevitably have.

I have reclusive tendencies and I’ve pretty much always been that way. For as long as I can remember, I spent a lot of time, some of it happily, with only myself as company. I go through phases where I really don’t want to be around people. I just want to cocoon in my house with my family or by myself, and be. I shut out the world except in the most superficial of fashions.

I met Cassi when I was 20 and had a job as a teller at Security Pacific National Bank in Riverside, California. We met there and also happened to both be attending the same community college. We became fast friends and our friendship endured almost 12 years before she gave up on me. She was upset because I bought a CD for Valentine’s Day for a guy that I was dating. Well, that wasn’t why, but she was upset that I didn’t call her in Oregon (because it cost so much), but I had money to buy Robert a CD…side note; I am totally dating myself here because this was before most people had cell phones at a time when you actually had to pay for long distance, and people actually purchased CDs – there was no such thing as iTunes. I’m also really simplifying things. You never really lose a friend because you bought someone else a CD, that would be silly and Cassi was anything but silly. Friends, and roots were important to Cassi and I let her down.

I used to have a friend named Cassi who talked about characters in books like they were her friends. She would say, “I have this friend, Kay (Scarpetta) who is a medical examiner and blah, blah, blah,” on with the story. She would have to stop and think about whether or not this was really someone in her life. It was always fun to figure out if she was talking about a real, live person that she actually knew or fictional character. She did turn me on to some good books; I’ll give her that. One thing we really had in common was a love of reading. I remember trading books back and forth, V.C. Andrews and romance novels – we were both romantics at heart.

I used to have this friend Cassi who would say she would burn that bridge when she crossed it - because she could never, ever get those types of sayings right. It was so sweet.

I loved Cassi like a sister, really. We were there for each other through some really shit times. And I lost her because I didn’t pay attention to how much she needed to be important to me. I was careless with her.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to find Cassi in the intervening years. Many, many times. And many more times that I have thought about her or mentioned her to someone else…to my daughter, who doesn’t remember her, or to my husband who has never met her. I’ve missed her and I’ve missed our friendship so much.

After I read Kelly Rae’s blog post I spent about three hours online trying to find her – you’d think you could find anyone these days, but it’s not so. That night I asked my facebook friends if they knew of a way to find someone. One of my mom’s friends suggested a site and I found Cassi yesterday morning in about 20 minutes. I actually found her quicker than that, but it took me that long to verify that it really was her.

It was. I found her website – she’s a writer and editor now, and I found her blog where she talks about her two sons. She has two sons. I never even knew she was married and she has two sons. I’m so happy for her and so happy to have found her. I immediately sent her a message on facebook, which is in her married name and why I couldn’t find her there, sloppily apologizing for being so careless with her all those (14) years ago. I don’t want to “used to have a friend named Cassi,” I want to have a friend named Cassi.

My prayer, my mantra all day yesterday was, “please, Cassi get on facebook and please forgive me and please write me back.” I’ve been calling it out to the universe and to anyone who will listen…please, Cassi, forgive me.

I am really hoping that she has it in her heart to put aside those feelings and give me another chance. I am trying so hard - and I really do have to try, to struggle some days - to be a better friend to my friends, not because of who they are, but because of who I am. But it is so important to me to keep those connections...and I am trying.

My wish for you today is old friends and boatloads of forgiveness.

Italian Inspiration

2010-11-01T14:58:00.001-07:00

My husband and I were in Italy a few weeks ago. We spent 20 or so amazing days together driving all over from north to south and back again. I got a lot of artistic inspiration while there. I took a ton of photos, literally over a thousand, and came back with some fantastic ideas about how to incorporate what I saw into my work.

One of the things that I’ve always loved from Italy is the marbled paper. I purchased these beauties in Venice. Aren’t they stunning? The vibrant colors (I counted 6 different paint colors per page), the gentle waves flowing in their organic patterns. No two of these papers are ever alike, not even out of the same batch of paints. Immediately I wanted to learn how to make marbled paper myself (as per my usual wanting to learn everything) and in doing some research found that it takes years of practice and a lot of materials with names I can’t pronounce. So, I guess for now I’ll leave it to the pros and will have to settle for making lovelies out of the papers that I have.

The story behind the purchase of the paper was classic. The man working in the store was the ONLY person I encountered in Italy who did not (or chose not to) speak English. He looked me straight in the eye and just went on and on in Italian explaining to me why one type of paper was better for certain uses over another type, although he knew I was American and didn’t speak Italian. What I do speak however, is Spanish and so I was able to understand most of what he said and speak to him in return in a language close enough to his own for him to understand me. It was one of my favorite exchanges and encounters from our trip! He was also able to talk me into purchasing the amazing wax stamp you see here with my initials on it!! Not too tough, I’m an easy mark…

I’ve made cards with the paper – in my usual style of layering mattes on a black card with the Venetian paper as a centerpiece. Truly, a one of a kind card. They are simply elegant and will suit absolutely any occasion at all. They are also equally appropriate for women or men. Each comes in a set of five different papers/patterns + envelopes for $25. Trust me when I say they are worth every penny - almost a gift in and of themselves. You may purchase them in my Etsy shop. Very limited quantities of these because I won't be going back to Italy any time soon...so get them while you can!

My wish for you today is an interesting encounter!

The Gifts of Imperfection

2010-10-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

I’m writing an impromptu post today – I had no intention of writing anything at all today, but this hit me so hard in the gut, that I ran into the house and grabbed my computer so that I could hurry up and get my thoughts down on “paper.”

A couple of days ago I heard about Dr. Brené Brown’s latest book, “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Thing You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Your guide to a wholehearted life.” That’s a mouthful, right? There’s a lot going on there. I was on her website and even grabbed a button to put on my blog. You’ll see it there on the left – something about how I live a wholehearted life. And I really thought I did. I ordered the book, and honestly I thought I would read it and pat myself on the back – that I would read her “guideposts” and be able to say, “wow – I’m doing such a great job of living a wholehearted life – yay me!”

It arrived in the mail yesterday – I pretty much buy everything in life from Amazon, if possible – and I opened it up and read the first page of the introduction and thought to myself – “boy, I can really relate to what’s she’s saying here.”

This morning, I brought the book with me outside and sat down in the shade in the lounge chair totally ready to dig in. I finished the introduction and while I was reading was beginning to feel a little trepidation. Not only was I feeling what Dr. Brown was feeling, which she conveys completely, I was feeling old feelings, and recent feelings and started to think that this book wasn’t going to be such a cakewalk for me after all.

Then I turned to chapter one and read the first paragraph. I started to cry almost immediately – from my gut, do you ever cry like that? The kind of crying that isn’t tears streaming down your face, but losing your breath, noise-making crying? Well, that is what I was doing. Then I read the paragraph again, and then I read it again. And I kept crying. It seems, I can’t get past this first paragraph. I’m stymied by these few sentences:

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking; Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

I’ve been in therapy a few times in my life and have always been completely open to it. But I’ve always been in therapy for reasons – for things that have happened. The first time was when I was seven years old and thought I was going to die because I had had an older sister who died when she was seven. I was paralyzingly afraid to go to sleep at night for fear that I wouldn’t wake up. Then there was the time I was in therapy after my dad died and the time that I seemed to keep picking the wrong type of guy to date and I wanted to fix that particular issue. So I went to therapy for a reason and then I graduated from therapy – I’m very good at it apparently, and moved on with my life.

Now I’m thinking that I have issues that I didn’t realize ran so deeply. I’ve always sort of known on the surface that I hate my body – even when I was skinny, I hated my body, but I’m thinking now that I didn’t realize quite how deep it ran and how destructive this basic loathing of the shell of ME has been to me. I have never – yes I’m going to say never – felt worthy. Really worthy. And I’m not sure that I’ve ever felt like enough.

So, this book is going to kick my happy ass – I know that now, but I’m gong to finish it. I’m really going to try to get to the point that I can embrace who I am – instead of who I think I’m supposed to be. More importantly I would like to get to the point of accepting who I am instead of she whom everyone else wants me to be.

Sponsor Highlight Jennifer Valentine of Sacred Cake

2010-10-28T07:12:00.001-07:00

Before I let Jennifer tell you about herself and her work, I would like to put my two cents in. If you are someone who loves vintage or eclectic or one of a kind pieces of jewelry, Jennifer is your gal. Her earrings are pretty much the only thing I wear any more and everywhere I go, I get tons of compliments. I've written on her Etsy feedback that I feel like she's reached into my soul to make the perfect earrings just for me. Truly. So, without further ado, here's Jennifer!

About Me and My Work

Sacred Cake assemblage art and vintage assemblage jewelry is created with those things that are once cherished and then lost through time, only to be rediscovered, re-purposed and loved again. My jewelry is inspired by Art Nouveau, religious iconography, natural elements and the antique and vintage heirlooms I discover. Often times, my jewelry or artwork evokes a poem or a story that I share with my dear customers and the readers of my blog.

Creating meaningful pieces of work with heirloom quality is what my assemblage jewelry is all about. I often use antique rosaries and religious medallions, mid-century French rhinestones, lacy filigree, vintage glass beads and authentic Art Nouveau elements in my jewelry. Vintage oil cans, antique papers and photographs, old china, even cheese graters and many varieties of vintage hardware often find their way into my functional art assemblages.

My artwork and jewelry have been featured in several publications such as Taking Flight, an inspirational art book by my sister Kelly Rae Roberts (available on Amazon), Studios Magazine, and Cloth Paper Scissors Magazine. My oil can assemblages are also in this summer’s issue of Somerset Life. Artful Blogging, Jewelry Affaire and Belle Armoire Jewelry have featured my blog and assemblage jewelry this fall. I am so fortunate! My artwork and jewelry have been seen and sold all over the world, and even after one and a half years of creating and selling jewelry online, I am still amazed and grateful each time someone purchases something that I created. I never take that for granted.

If you would like to know a little more about me, you might like to visit my online blog where I often post my poetry and stories, inspiration and projects, as well as free downloadable vintage and antique ephemera from my private collection for your use and enjoyment. I also love to create custom work.

I’d like to thank Laurie for featuring me here on her beautiful blog! What a joy!

Mistakes and Forgiveness

2010-10-26T09:43:00.002-07:00

In the interest of making myself the most amazing “multi-mixed-media” artist on the planet, I have decided to learn absolutely everything. Most recently I taught myself how to knit making this amazing necklace from a kit by Jenny Doh of CRESCENDOh.com.

this is the necklace that I made

In retrospect, it may have been a tad bit ambitious for a first knitting project, but heck – you might as well make something you like, instead of making a long piece of nothing that gets thrown away only after you’ve kept it for five years because you couldn’t bear to get rid of it because it was the first thing you ever knit. I wanted to make something that would get used, and I did and it’s amazing – I love it!!

I bought the whole kit including the video. It comes packaged in this great cloth pouch with everything tied together beautifully and craftily and the contents are all really nice quality. But the best part of the kit, in my opinion was the video. Jenny speaks clearly while taking you through the steps and stitches and there are even still photos, which really help you to figure out where your fingers are supposed to be in relation to the needles and the hemp!!

here is what's left of the kit after I made the necklace - there's enough stuff for two!!

My biggest problem by far was that the needles are about 1/100 the size of my fingers. I have huge hands, larger than *every* guy I ever dated in fact, except my husband (but that’s a story for another day) – and these buggers are size 2 teeny, tiny, Lilliputian-sized needles. I was using body parts to knit that I am certain most other people don’t utilize, one of them being my stomach…

see how tiny they are!!!

My favorite part of the finished necklace is that I made mistakes and you can’t tell. Well that’s actually two favorite parts really because I continued to make something even after I made mistakes, which is big for me, and because with this necklace you really can’t tell – it’s very forgiving and I like that so much in a project! On a side note however, I will admit to starting over several times while trying to get the feel of the (did I mention very) teeny knitting needles, but once I had the groove, I didn’t turn back – even when I had screwed up.

In the near future, I am going to incorporate knitting and crocheting into my painting. I have a few ideas that I’ve been toying around with and I can’t wait to get into the studio and get messy trying them out!!

Today my wishes for you are mistakes and forgiveness.

Finishing what you start

2010-10-25T08:57:00.001-07:00

When I was a child I got a lot of flack from my dad about a couple of things, one of which was my weight (too much of it for his taste) and the other about being a quitter. It wasn’t until I was much, much older and able to look back on his criticisms of me that I realized the only important things in my life that I didn’t finish were because he forced me, quite unwilling, to quit. I did what most kids do; I tried ballet and was much better and happier with tap, so I stopped taking ballet – that sort of thing. I don’t think that made me a quitter – I think it made me realistic about my talents and abilities and smart about doing things that brought me joy. And I was a really good tap dancer. Plus, according to him I was large, so what was I doing in a leotard anyway??

Soccer was the other very important thing that my dad made me quit. You can't see it here, but I was ALL leg...and not so large, I don't think...

My dad passed away 16 years ago and I never had the chance to share my revelations with him, but they really influenced me and they influenced the way that I raised my daughter. Finishing what you start is very important and is something that I stressed with her, especially when other people are counting on you – as in a team setting. But there is also a huge sense of accomplishment that comes from finishing what you start. That sense of pride and increased self worth when you’ve completed something worthwhile.

I recently graduated from college at 42 and being able to say that I have a degree in graphic design and “AM” something (a graphic designer) means the world to me. College was one of the big things that my dad made me quit and then for which he called me a quitter. Imagine my sense of joy at completing this task, with the help and support of my husband and daughter!

Bachelor of Fine Arts in Visual Communication - University of Arizona

This past week my daughter was on fall break from her first year at Notre Dame and we spent some really wonderful time together. She called me many times in those first few weeks of school and begged me to come home – it absolutely broke my heart. The hardest thing I’ve done as a parent was make her stay there - because of course I would love for her to be back at home with me!! But I knew it was in her best interest to make her stay. When she came home last week we talked about it and she was glad that I made her stay because now she loves it; best school ever, wonderful friends, etc. And one day four years from now, she’ll have the pride and feeling of accomplishment that comes from finishing what she started.

Danielle with her friends from high school Patrick and Dan, who are also at UND

I made her an 18^th birthday present this year representing from whence she came (she was born in California) and then we moved to Arizona – and where she worked so hard her whole scholastic life to get (Notre Dame). She turned 18 on Tuesday and the project took longer than I thought it would because of some technical difficulties as I’ve never done anything like this before, but I finished it in time for her to see it before she went back to school. I felt that burst of joy that comes from finishing what I started and from a job well done.

Dani has always had a thing for license plates, so I thought this was an appropriate gift.

Today my wish for you is finishes and joy.

Welcome to my first blog post:

2010-10-21T17:54:00.009-07:00

Me at the Spanish Steps in Rome

I recently sent out a tweet that said, “I think in blog posts.” I guess by that I meant that my thoughts are frequently musings about Seinfield-like, quasi-ridiculous everyday things. I think as though I’m having a conversation with someone. I am not talking to myself exactly, but I seem to think that when I speak in my head I have an audience. I direct my “comments” to an unknown group of people that I’m assuming are going to be interested in what I have to say. So, I decided that I would start a blog and actually speak out loud the thoughts that have been ruminating inside my head. I am also very interested to hear what others have to say about my thoughts. I always wonder if I’m the only one that thinks and feels the way I do.

Today I’m thinking about how I often feel stymied by all of my creative interests. I love to work – I’m a freelance graphic designer. I could sit and “play” with all of my graphic design programs without food or water for hours and hours at a time and be perfectly happy…which if you knew me, would seem quite unbelievable because I LOVE food.

Page Layouts From Kelly Rae Roberts' E-book "Flying Lessons Tips + Tricks,"

Which I Designed + can be purchased above - left

I also have many other creative interests. I love to paint, and really get my hands dirty. I love to sew and make my own clothes and other creative items. I have a new interest in knitting and crocheting and on a recent trip to Italy, I bought a bunch of gorgeous Italian yarn that I want to use make some scarves for the winter. I love photography – taking photos and then playing with them in Photoshop until they look just so. I am about to begin an online course in metalsmithing, with Stephanie Lee, which I’m really excited about. And since my trip to Italy, I have a renewed interest in glass blowing.

Heart Pillow that I Made For My Daughter from Leftover Skirt & Pillow Material

When I wake up in the morning I am often brimming with ideas of what I want to accomplish with my day. I have at least four or five projects in my sights at this very moment. There aren’t really any priorities because it’s all fun. There aren’t any deadlines because it’s all for me. Where do I start? How do I begin? Should I make a list? Start with the thing that sounds more fun? Can I work on more than one project at once?

These are the questions that plague me daily. I'm open to suggestions...